Your Horoscope for Today/CATS Style
by Bast and Catnip
Summary: A Cats Parody of Wierd Al's Song your horoscope for today. Please read and review!


Title: "Your Horoscope for Today," CATS Style!  
Summary: A CATS parody of Weird Al's song, "Your Horoscope for today"  
By: Bast (lyrics) and Catnip (scenes/mental images), with help from their muses.  
Cat: You call that help??? Quaxo kept giggling, Legolas was confused, and Mistoffelees was trying not to laugh!  
Disclaimer: Bast: What do we own?   
Cat:*shrug* I know what we don't own, like any of the CATS characters, (Bast: *sob*) Lego, *sob*, Weird Al, his songs, and that stuff.  
A/N: Bast: Review!!! PLEEEEEEASE?!?!?!?!   
Cat: And don't flame us if we offend one of your favorite characters. We know we offended a couple characters.....we can't control   
what sign they fit!  
Bast: If you do flame, we have marshmallows!   
Muses: Marshmallows?! Great!  
************************************************************************  
QUAXO! (Aquarius)  
There's travel in your future when you tail gets stuck on the back of a speeding car (Quaxo with his tail stuck in the trunk of the old car)  
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mouse 17 hours a day (Quaxo in front of a mouse hole, whacking it every time it sticks its head out)  
MISTO! (Pisces)  
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the haematoma virus (Misto avoiding Tugger and Jenny)  
You are the true Cat of the Dance, no matter what your idiotic friends say (Misto glaring at Tug, Cori and Skimble)  
MUNK! (Aries)  
The look on your face will be priceless when you find your girlfriend in your brother's den (Macavity/Demeter, enter Munkustrap. Need I say more?)  
Trade mice with a fat cat and give a hicky to that sleek cat in the corner (Munk trading mice with Bustopher, then you can have a mental image of your own...  
all I'll give you is Munk/Cassandra)  
DEMI! (Taurus)  
You'll never find true happiness~what you gonna do cry about it? (Demi crying)  
Tantomile predicts that tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep. (Demeter looking at Tant with a "no duh" look on her face.)  
  
That's your horoscope for today! (Quaxo, whack-a-mouse)  
That's your horoscope for today! (Misto starts to spark while Tug, Cori and Skim get "oh shit" looks on their faces)  
That's your horoscope for today! (Either continue with Munk/Cass or have Munk and Mac fight)  
That's your horoscope for today! (Demi bonking Tant on the head)  
  
POUNCE! (Gemini)  
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your mother's students (Pounce birthday party, overrun with cockroaches and mice)  
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a mouse through your chest (What it says! Pic your favorite Pounce couple (Jemina, Electra, Etcetera, etc)  
CORI! (Cancer)  
The position of the Jellicle moon says that you should spend the rest of the week in the dirt (Poor Cori in the dirt *hugs Cori*)  
Try not to shove a toy mouse up your twin's nose when you do your duet (You can just imagine away....)  
TUG! (Leo)  
Now is not a good time to stick your butt in your leader's face, oh no (Tug, Munk....all slash fans cheer)  
Eat a bucket of tuna flavored pudding and wash it down with a gallon of Catnip-Quick (Tug, a spoon, tan pudding, green milk, bon appetite!  
JENNY! (Virgo)  
All Virgos are extremely friendly and bright-except for you (Jenny looking very angry)  
Expect a big surprise when your students rebel against you (Cockroaches and mice going insane)  
  
That's your horoscope for today! (Pounce kicking a roach in a birthday hat)  
That's your horoscope for today! (Cori covered in dirt)  
That's your horoscope for today! (Munk beating the crap out of Tugger)  
That's your horoscope for today! (More insane cockroaches and mice)  
  
VICKI! (Libra)  
A big solo is around the corner-for some one much more talented than you. (Vicki looking po'ed)  
Laughter is the best medicine, tell that to Plato when you kick his butt next week {Bast: Sorry Plato fans!!!} (Vicki beating up Plato)  
ALONZO! (Scorpio)  
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from a large tree (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)  
Work a little bit harder on improving your self esteem you stupid tom (Bast ducks as Alonzo and fans leap at her)  
ETCETRA! (Sagittarius)  
All your friends are laughing behind your back-kill them (Etc. the Maniac)  
Take down all those naked picture of Tugger you have up in your lair (Etcetera blushing)  
BUSTOPHER! (Capricorn)  
The psychic cats say your a handsome and wonderful person-but you know they're lying (Busto looking at Tant and Cori suspiciously)  
If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows and never leave the pub again (Busto at the bar)  
  
That's your horoscope for today! (Vicki beating up Plato...still)  
That's your horoscope for today! (Bast defending herself from Alonzo, Plato, and their fans while Cat hides) {Bast: BACK!}  
That's your horoscope for today! (Wanted poster for Etcetera the Maniac)  
That's your horoscope for today! (Drunk Bustopher)  
**********************************************  
*during the second line of VICKI! (Libra)  
Misto: hee*cough, cough*  
Bast: *looks at Misto*  
Misto: Uh....hairball....  
Bast: Riiiight....  
**********************************************  
Bast: PLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE REVEIW!!!!!!!!  
Catnip: Hope you enjoyed it! 


End file.
